Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
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