You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
Randomize
