Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
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