Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Randomize
