Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
