the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize
