I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
she pinky promised me she was 18
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he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
When did we convert life to cartoon?
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize