Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Randomize
