I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
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So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
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I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
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