My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
