i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
Randomize
