4 words: hood of his car
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
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