You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Randomize
