I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
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