my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
Randomize