I just pynch a tree in the face
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
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