I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Randomize