The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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