South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
Drunk in a bar in Texas. The 24 y/o hottie I am chatting up just called me a male cougar. I am dealing with this whole turning 40 thing juuuust fine.
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
this will be a night to untag.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
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