Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
