I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
