There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
Randomize