So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
