I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize
