Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
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