Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
We need to get me chipped asap
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Randomize
