I can't breathe out the right side of my face
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
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