his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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