ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
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Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
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Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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