There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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