In the future we'll all be gay
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
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