The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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