I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Randomize
