Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
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