you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
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