Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
