Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
