break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
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