So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
23 Theme Park Employees Confess The Biggest Adult Tantrums They’ve Witnessed
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.