Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?