he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
These 23 Groupies Had The Most Insane Sexual Experiences With Celebs
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
35 Of The Funniest Things People Said While Banging
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?