Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
And then my night got REAL pukey
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
Randomize
