if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Randomize
