i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
Randomize
