This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
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