I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
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