By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
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