the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
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