did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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