we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
Randomize
