...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
My hand turned me down
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
Randomize
