WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
Randomize