break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize