Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
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