he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
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I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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