He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
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