Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
I should be sponsored by Trojan
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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