and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
Randomize
