why didn't you poke me back
Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
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